Home birth

 

     I am not crunchy, but if I were to give birth to another baby, I would have a midwife and a home birth. Many of you have probably seen the article floating around Facebook,  "You might be a crunchy mom if…". I only have maybe 4 of them…so not crunchy. I am, however, opinionated and I like to do my research. Generally speaking my opinions are not come to without reason and logic and sometimes moral conviction. 

   I wanted to labor naturally - no induction, no C-section, no epidural, no vaccines at birth, no episiotomy, etc. This was as much about control as anything. As far as I could tell, there were no horrid side-effects from laboring naturally. As a matter of fact, my research suggested laboring naturally would decrease my chances of having baby blues. To be really basic about it, women have been having babies since the beginning of time - we were in essence built to do this. To quote my mother - "If a woman in China, can give birth in a rice field and then stand up, strap baby to her, and keep on harvesting rice, I can do this."

   I did not want to have a home birth for several reasons. The first and biggest reason was fear of something going wrong and being 30 min from a hospital. Second being that the bodily fluids of a home birth frankly grossed me out. I was happy to have someone else have to deal with cleaning all that up. And lastly, I'm not one to buck the system unless I find something wrong about the system - then I'm willing to fight it tooth and nail. 

    I'm guessing you're wondering why I've changed my mind. Why now I am willing to buck the system? (Well, would be willing.) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. My first delivery was quick (by normal first birth standards - 8 hrs), super painful, and ended with a  broken tail bone and 3rd degree episiotomy. I had to diagnose my own broken tail bone and confirm with the Doctor when he finally showed up two days later. I also didn't find out about the episiotomy until my Husband casually mentioned, "Ya know I'm pretty sure they cut you." When questioned - "Oh yes, they did do an episiotomy." WHAT!?! I vaguely remember there being some pain that was probably the episiotomy happening. I had been pushing for over an hour at that point - so if they had only asked and explained why - I probably would have agreed. But no - Doctor knew better. I wasn't allowed to walk. The blood pressure cuff repeatedly and seemingly constantly tried to severe my arm from my body. NB: I'm not sure my son would have come into the world if it weren't for one fantastic Labor and Delivery nurse.

       My stay in the hospital left much to be desired. The nurses that checked on me took 36 hours to take the useless IV out of my arm (it wasn't used - just in case of emergency) despite several requests. They mocked me and tried to shove drugs on me when I complained about my inability to get out of bed. It seemed weird. I kept thinking - how does everyone I know take a shower after labor? It's just your episiotomy. Lets give you lots of pain meds. B/c I obviously can't handle pain after delivering a 7lbs 13 oz baby naturally? I wanted to scream. 

     My second was a much better delivery itself. But since she came at 40 weeks and 6 days - I had to fight to not be induced. At one point my OB actually called me ignorant. Yup that's right. He told a 40 week pregnant woman she was ignorant. (Obviously not the brightest crayon in the box.) I had a stress test every 4 days for two plus weeks. ANNOYING! She came in less than 6 hours. I pushed 4 times over two contractions. Other than busting a vein in my arm trying to put in an IV to give me fluids (and then pain killers without my permission moments before she was born - so I spent the first couple of hours of her life dizzy and sick) the labor and delivery nurses were AMAZING and super supportive of all my decisions even if my OB wasn't. No broken tail bone. No episiotomy. I credit this to three months of chiropractics pre-labor. 

    If we could have stopped there, I might not have been put off of hospitals and such for labor. I wouldn't even have cared that my stupid OB tried to take credit for my easy delivery - and directed me to tell him thank you. But no - within an hour my son and dad were run out of the room because they were out of space and I had to share my room with another family. WHAT! I finally got a room to myself by evening, but WTF. I had to go to the bathroom with people I didn't know in the room. 

   Then the nursery nurse was constantly trying to take her from the room. Kept insisting on test and blood draws and heel pricks without being able to coherently tell me what they were doing and why. (All of these tests were re-done at her two week appointment.) Made it a point to continually come to my room all night to wake me and make sure I wasn't sleeping with her in the bed. Oh and because she was over 8 lbs they had to test her hourly for the first 24 for abnormal blood sugar levels. Apparently 8 lbs is 'big'???  My husband is/was deployed. My two year old lost his mind when I wasn't at home the first night, so since all were healthy I pushed to go home before night two. You would have thought I was requesting to be sent home at a high risk of death. Everyone got it together except the nursery. They lied. They delayed (5 hours after she was released by pediatrician.) Then they followed us down to the car and checked both her and my sons car seats. Also - how dumb is the rule that your child can't be carried from place to place in the hospital? Must be pushed around in the dumb 'bassinet.'

    I feel these two stories speak for themselves as to why I would do a home birth next time. But just to be clear, the medical profession and the baby birthing industry has become ridiculous. I partially blame it on lawyers (I am one - I can do this). They have sort of been forced to tailor everything to the lowest common denominator. Please don't misunderstand me - everyone, I repeat EVERYONE, is capable of educating themselves and making intelligent decisions - most people I have found choose not to do so. They choose to let someone else make decisions for them. Unfortunately, the same folks who let others make decisions for them, also like to sue when something goes wrong. So now the whole system is tailored to the idiot who heard they should give their baby water at the hospital - and decided they could do that instead of formula or nursing. 

   I am not sure why they think they are entitled to check my car seats, but they do it b/c somehow people can't do that safely. We as a society think it's someone else's responsibility to check it. And we are ok with that. We are ok with the mentality that lets the nurse do what she wants in the nursery with my child. Because I must be an idiot and she must know what's she's doing. 

   At no point did I give up my right to make decisions for myself and my dependents, and it has become virtually impossible for you to have your decisions respected and followed at the hospital. 

   I will never, Lord willing, experience a home birth. I'm done at two. Pregnancy and I do NOT get along. My second pregnancy actually worked as a very successful weight loss plan for the five pounds left over from my first pregnancy. Believe me when I say - be thankful for baby weight. So even if you aren't crunchy- I strongly encourage you to consider home birth and to encourage the future mommas in your life to consider it. You don't have to be naked in a pool of water burning incense in your living room, but you can have your labor and delivery on your terms surrounded ONLY by people who know and support your decisions and have your best interests at heart.